Q. How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, but you should have seen the bulb, it must have been THIS big.
A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. "Have you had any bites?" asked the second man. "Yes, lots," replied the first one, "but they were all mosquitoes."
The priest was a fisherman, but he hadn't fished in months. One perfect Sunday morning he couldn't resist. He called up the Bishop and claimed he had laryngitis. The priest then headed out to his favorite fishing spot. The hook hadn't been in the water five minutes before he got a strike, and landed the biggest fish he had ever caught--although he had seen bigger ones. A half hour later he caught the biggest fish he had ever seen. Another forty-five minutes later he landed a fish that broke the world record. All this time Saint Peter and God had been watching the priest from heaven. Saint Peter turned to God and said, "How can you reward this priest? He lied. He let down his congregation." God smiled at Saint Peter and replied, "I am punishing him." Saint Peter was confused, so God continued, "Well after he finishes, who can he tell his fish story to?"